I’ll be turning 25 in a few days. And I found a shiny silver curl in my beard one morning, coinciding my ‘silver’ jubilee birthday.
For a moment it was an overwhelmingly humbling reminder of my mortal and frail life. It was as if I could already hear the first faint mocking cries of old age and death from the distant future. 25 long years of innocence, anguish, happiness, beauty, and suffering have passed. I’ve indeed learned a lot in all these years. But I have not the faintest idea of what I have yet to know and learn.
Soon, the existential questions surfaced- Where did all those years go? What have I accomplished in these years?
I reflected back on the years I’ve wasted. Wait a minute, wasted? How do I define life being “useful” and life being “wasted”? I realized I bought into the idea I often get advised by people around me, who say that if I’m not working a 9–5 job, I’m “wasting my life”.
But how does working for someone not count as wasting my time? What actions in my life would make it worthwhile to be called useful? What would give meaning to my life?
The actions that made me feel like I’ve wasted my time are the things I didn’t really care about but did nevertheless for pleasing my teachers, parents and the society in general.
Most of it was a complete waste of time, including college. I would have learned a lot in those 4 years of my graduate studies if only I had taken the road less traveled, doing the things I really care and am passionate about.
The only times I wasn’t true to myself are things I regret the most.
Those are the only times i felt like I’ve wasted my time/life on.
The pursuit of purpose: Defining success for myself.
All successful people have this in common, once a year, Bill Gates embarks on something called a ThinkWeek, where he disconnects from the internet and moves into a cabin in the woods.
Free of distraction, he can read a year’s worth of books and strategize ahead about the months to come in a state of ultimate productivity.
There are countless examples and reasons why you need to make it a habit of spending quality time with yourself. Taking some time off a few minutes every day will help you re-orient yourself and get you back on track.
So, don’t forget to spend some time alone with the awesome person reading this. 😉
If I had to pick one quality that most determines the person you’ll marry it is this – Self-Esteem.
Self-Esteem and Relationships:
When you have a low self-worth, you’ll sell yourself short to some half-smiling wit passing by and allow them to trample over you.
Having a low self-esteem makes you vulnerable to crafty men who lure you with unrealistic praises. Ignorant & gullible women blush and giggle at obvious flattering flirtations and fall prey to guys who use them for their own benefits.